What a strange day, filled with lots of mixed emotions. I’m happy because my daughter Deniece launched her website WhatTheVogue.com today, and sad because last night a great guy (Steven Tirtosentono), whom I used to work with at Warung Mini Den Haag, passed away after his battle with lung cancer. Rest in peace dear Steve, your cheerful spirit will be greatly missed.
Life; a cocktail of sweet and bitter moments. We drink it up, sometimes sipping, sometimes taking a big gulp, and nobody knows exactly when the glass is going to run out of its precious nectar. Three weeks ago to this day, I had to bid farewell to my aunt, who also passed away of cancer, and now.. shortly after.. yet another farewell.
It can be a really wonderful life, when you are allowed to share it with people you love and enjoy receiving their love in return. We all know our time on this earth has its limit, yet.. as with all things we love and enjoy, we wish to cling on to it and do not want it to end so soon. I’m sorry to say that I’ve been to more funerals than I would want to have been to. Especially when it concerns funerals of people who still had their entire life ahead of them. I’m afraid this will just continue to happen, as this is what happens in life, until one day, it’s time for me to take my last breath.
I pray I am allowed to spend many more healthy years living and loving, and I pray so will you and those you love. And when that moment arrives, when our soul leaves our body, I pray we will be at peace and that those we leave behind will find comfort in knowing that they meant the world to us and that we would like nothing more than for them to be happy and continue being happy.
Just thinking about saying goodbye and leaving people behind with so much sorrow to process and deal with, makes me very sad. Just as sad as I am when I attend a funeral and I watch all of the grieving relatives and friends of the departed one. The tears I shed at funerals are not just tears I shed for the person who passed away, but also for the pain the people who are left behind have to go through.
When I was pregnant with my third child, my father passed away and I know from experience how hard it is to pick your life back up after a great loss. Somehow my sister and I managed to do it, but to this day it still hurts to think back and know that he never got to meet my youngest son Joshua (and my sister’s two daughters, who were born years after he died), or to see my other two children; Deniece & Benjamin grow up. My dad never got to see me overcome some of the difficult things I had to face in life, or see me blossom into a mature woman. I couldn’t get tired of him calling me several times during the day (every single day) anymore.. because, he was.. gone, and I would never hear his voice speak to me again, no matter how sorry I felt afterwards for ever feeling that way. What I wouldn’t give to hear it again. We tend to take people for granted way too much.
We tend to think they will still be here tomorrow, or even a few hours from now. But who says that will be true? There’s nobody who can guarantee that. I thank my lucky stars that my mom is still alive and healthy, living in Florida. The physical distance between us makes it harder, but not impossible, to connect. Thank goodness, with the help of modern technology, we can rely on tools like FaceTime or Skype, until I get the opportunity to visit her again. It’s my wish and aim to be able to visit her at least once a year, because it means so much to me to be with and around her and share quality time with her.
I know we hear ‘show those you love just how much they mean to you’, ‘make time for those you love’, ‘appreciate the people in your life while you can’ and much more of those ‘cheesy’ sayings very often, but you wanna know something? They’re all very TRUE and very important.
When death knocks at someone’s door, it doesn’t always come announced. And if you do not have time to say your peace and your goodbyes before someone passes, you may be left behind feeling guilty or sorry that you didn’t have the opportunity to say what you feel or spend more time with them. Please don’t put yourself in that position. Say everything you feel NOW, compliment NOW, love NOW, hug NOW, laugh NOW and share NOW. DON’T save it for the eulogy.